Not Gonna Wish it Away

I have been a stay at home mama for almost the boys whole lives. I mean I have had side jobs here and there but I am usually the one who is always home. Sometimes it is great and sometimes....it is more challeging than other days.
Ya know, when the boys came into our lives I had NO CLUE! None...Zilch! Nada! about being a mom. Do you know that I don't think I have went to the bathroom by myself for about six years? Now this is what I get.

My shoes literally walk out of the room without my feet in them...hmmmm. I also seem to have more days that I am sure I am losing my mind. How many of you have received a phone call from me and I am just sitting there on the other end...hesitating and confused. Then I promptly tell you that I didn't mean to call you I meant to call so and so. I hang up and dial another friend...whom I was not trying to call either. Geez!

I am surprised my kids even know their names. I will walk up to someone, let use Aaron as an example and I say, "Aiden...I mean Rick, er um."
It instantly hits me that I forgot my childs name and I am aggrivated along with a little confused and I seem to just start yelling out names. Sometimes I will even throw in a cat name or two in the mix.

I think I see another gray hair popping out of my head with just the memory of it. Yes thats right. All I ever remember is silly moments. I learn by embarrassment! Now I don't want anyone to get any bright ideas. Lets not embarrass Michele just so she will remember something. Cause I do seek out revenge. :)

I have started filling in at the boys school as a sub Janitor or cook in the kitchen. I am surprisingly called in alot more than I thought. I really has been great. I was so excited about getting a job and entering the grown up world again. I would go potty by myself. I would wear something other than sweats and Ricks sweat shirt. I WOULD PUT ON MAKEUP!!! I am woman hear me roar!

So I go off and help earn a living and I get home and hubs has taken pictures...
I want to share them with you. This is now making me cry every time I leave and I know my family is at home. They are perfect. beautiful. growing. helpful. Did I say beautiful? Ya know, I don't mind my shoes missing all the time. Heck I lose my keys on my own too. I like company in the bathroom. I really don't mind them talking to me while I am on the phone. I don't mind the artwork Aiden drew on the wall shortly after we bought the house. It doesn't come off. Whatever.
These pictures make everything alright! Gotta love 'em!




See what I mean? All is good. Forget that, all is GREAT in my world. I don't even care about yesterday morning.
Aaron and I were walking down to his bus stop in the rain. When I walked out the door Aaron accidently locked me out.
I walked to the bus stop with a mental plan of how I would get back in the house.
Who am I kidding I had no plan. It was raining. The house was locked up. The windows were locked up. Again, it was raining. My sweat pants were getting wet....
It is okay, my baby is my hero.
I don't mind that I had to haul the ladder and climb up to the boys window and pound on it until Aiden wakes up.
"Aiden! Let mommy back in the house!" I was getting cold. Will the ladder hold me?
The ground is slick and the roof is slick. Watch me fall.
Aiden woke up and became the biggest hero in my life!

I don't care that I was cold. wet. lonely. homeless. I have heroes!